"OH NO" Baby Onesie – A Tiny, Wearable Crisis

I let AI write this next one! Let's see how it did, shall we?

Some babies arrive with joy and wonder. Others arrive with a deep, wordless understanding that existence is a cruel joke. This onesie is for them.

The "OH NO" Baby Onesie perfectly captures the essence of being suddenly thrust into a world you didn’t ask for, wrapped in a soft, breathable cotton blend. Whether your newborn is processing their first existential crisis or just deeply unimpressed by their surroundings, this onesie says it all—so they don’t have to.

• Made from strong, smooth fabric – Because babies ruin everything. This at least puts up a fight.
• 100% cotton for solid colors – Like the blank slate of existence your child is forced to navigate.
• Side seams provide structural support – Unlike your life choices.
• Ribbed knit binding for comfort – Because someone in this household deserves it.
• Convenient snaps for easy diaper changes – Not that anything about parenting is actually easy.

Care Instructions:

• Machine wash cold (max 30°C or 90°F) – Because babies are biological chaos engines.
• Non-chlorine bleach as needed – Mistakes were made. Fix them.
• Tumble dry low – Like your energy levels.
• Do not dry clean – Seriously, who’s dry cleaning baby clothes? Are you okay?
• Do not iron – There are far bigger problems in your life than wrinkles.

Welcome to life, little one. We’re all in this together. (Unfortunately.)